Rest
by AlexArmin36
Summary: Sleep, such a basic necessities in life yet he was deprived of a peaceful slumber for so long. Perhaps, what he need is a helping hand.


**I have this problem that prevents me from getting a good sleep. I don't know why but I am restless every night. In the end, I decided to listen to some ASMR to see if the product is the same as they advertised. **

**I found out that lip-smacking, those uncomfortable lisp in my ears are too damned annoying for me. Makes me feel paranoid and restless instead of being restful. And then I stumbled into Touhou ASMR by RemyFive Touhou. She was the only one that doesn't drive me mad. Her low voice is soothing instead of grating, reassuring instead of annoying.**

**However, one stood out strong to me. It is a video where Doremy Sweet decided to help me get over my nightmares in a roleplay ASMR. Granted it weren't the nightmares that kept me awake, I realised that Alex Armin probably needed that good night sleep considering what happened after TouhouDoom.**

**Enjoy readers, and pray that his nights remain peaceful forevermore…**

I am scared to go to sleep. Yet I know that I need rest. Everything in this world requires rest. Rest brings respite, a chance to recover from one's physical labour in the waking world. Rest allows us to recover from wounds both physical and mental.

Despite my increasingly fatigued body, despite the silent night that victory has gifted me, I am afraid to fall asleep. I am afraid of the dark, afraid of the visions I see behind the veil. Fear grips my spine like a vice, forcing my heart to beat faster than normal. I cannot rest, I just can't.

The bed is soft and smooth, much better than the coarse rag I used to lie on before I was in Gensokyo. The room was dark save for the single night lamp beside me on a night stand. It provided me with a small glow of light in an otherwise dark room. The moon is hidden behind a veil of cloud, blind to the suffering of a demon in disguise.

I closed my eyes, my mind in a mild state of turmoil. I need sleep, yet the images kept coming. The horrible screams of the marines as I strode through the demon's POW camp, the smell of human grease as I got too close to a Mancubus flamethrower, it all came back to me in a strange fleeting sensation. I gritted my teeth as the vision gets even worse.

In the end, I lost the battle and I woke up again gasping for air. I didn't even manage to sleep properly and I'm already regretting life as it is. Sighing softly to myself, I looked at the night stand beside me. I know what is inside the damn thing.

No, I will not fall into temptation again. The pills while effective are strangely addictive in unseen ways, especially if one is stricken with unnatural grief. I need to stay clean.

Grunting deeply to myself, I instead took something else from the night stand; a single-stack, semi-automatic Colt M1911A1 pistol loaded with 0.45 ACP 230 grain Remington Full Metal Jacket. The furniture is metal grey, scratches adorns the slide like tiny war scars that I also have. Simple checkered walnut grip are comfortable to grip both with glove and without one.

I smiled as I caress the death machine in my grip. A century of service, a war hero of several different wars, and this thing still kick ass even in Hell. It is my personal cross, my protector in the valley of death. It is my shepherd in the darkest day, and my light in the end of the tunnel.

I lay my head back on the pillow, closing my eyes to rest again. This time however, the calming presence of my handgun kept the demons long enough for me to slip into slumber. As my mind sinks deeper into darkness, I felt my handgun starts to slip away from my grip.

"No!" I roared, trying to keep the weapon from getting away. It felt like gripping a stick of oil and somebody else is trying to pull it away. I opened my eyes but it was in vain; I'm already asleep. It was dark, darker than anything I've ever seen in my life. The little handgun is now glowing like a candle, a small light in the darkness almost snuffed out.

I roared in anger and pulled the trigger, emptying the whole magazine into the black mass that engulfs my handgun. My other arm somehow produces another magazine from my back and loaded it with fluid efficiency. Again the darkness is greeted by several thunderous roar of gunshot.

My ears rang from the report of the weapon, yet I welcome the sound. Slowly, the ringing subsides into slow growling. Soon, growling and snarling can be heard all around me. The air felt cold and oily, like the stench of a Mancubus's cold flamethrower fuel. I growled back, raising my handgun to bear. Another night, another fight.

….

…

"Hey, wake up"

A soft, feminine voice suddenly struck my ears. The voice cuts through the ringing sound of my gunshots and the growling of the nightmare that I'm facing. I was surprised by that sound. "Well, that was new" I muttered to myself before going back to the fight.

"Or maybe that's not the right thing to say here"

The nightmares that I fought against then suddenly disappeared. The oily, disgusting tentacles shrivelled up like a leaf and the ugly pig-like men suddenly dissipate like morning mist. I whirled around, reloading my trusty handgun from my never-ending supply of bullets.

"Open your eyes?"

What? Did she ask me to wake up from my slumber, from this nightmare? I decided to comply with what she said and rubbed my eyes vigorously. Yet I'm still where I am; floating in a vast expanse of darkness.

"Hmm, I guess that's wrong too though" the soft feminine voice said after seeing me fails at waking up from this nightmare. Who is she really?

"Hmm, oh! You're finally dreaming!"

"No fucking shit" I replied to the voice. "Does any of these looks like reality to you?"

"What's with that expression? It's as if you've seen a ghost"

"Perhaps I am talking to a ghost, coz I can't fucking see you!" I roared back, hoping to hide the tremor of fear from my voice. The only way I can get sleep is by being brave, yet it drained lots of my energy and I ended up like I never slept at all.

"Oh? It's me you're afraid of?"

The voice came from behind me and I instinctively whirled around pointing my pistol at her. She is interesting-looking to say the least. She wore a strange black and white dress with black and white orbs adorning its fabric. She wore a ridiculously long red nightcap over her dark blue hair and she carries a purple book at her left hand a floating ball of pink stuff at her right shoulder. Her dark blue eyes bore deeply into me; a soft smile graced her cute face.

"Do you think I'm a nightmare?" she asked softly.

"Perhaps. I was fighting for my soul every time I go to sleep"

She smiled mischievously at me and replied. "I assure you I am no such thing unless that is what you want from me"

My eyes widened in surprise and fear. Cute or not, she is a Youkai and they are generally very fucking powerful and I cannot spare anything when fighting against one of them. I raised my pistol, higher, my sight already set for one between the eyes.

She softly chuckled and said "Could it be that you're expecting a fright tonight?"

Is this bitch for real? "I've been fighting my nightmares for the last 20 fucking years and by god if you suddenly become the love child of Lovecraft and Poe's imagination I will personally rape your fucking ass with a bayonet!"

She smiled sweetly at me despite my threats, showing perfect nonchalance at my intended use of curse language at her. "Kidding, kidding! Don't look so grim" she said as she raises a hand at me with a placating manner. I scoffed at her answer.

"No, I promise you I am not so horrible, then what am I?" she said, her voice soft and soothing.

"I don't fucking know, maybe gender bent Jesus or something?" I replied.

She shook her head at my answer; her soft smile never left her lips. "Well, here I can be anything" She then raises her left hand and carefully swipe it around to emphasize the surrounding (or lack of it) around us. "Where you find yourself when you close your eyes is my kingdom"

I am confused. What the hell is she talking about? I kept my voice silent and my gun high, hoping that she'll reveal the detail later on. True to my calculation, her next sentence clears the fog of ignorance from my mind.

"The Ruler of Dreams, she who eats and creates in equal measure, that's who I am" She said that with a hint of pride. "You can call me Doremy, and I have taken interest in you, human"

I am always in a state of confusion, and it seems that my state shall remain like that for much longer than I liked it to. "I'm Alex Armin, the Sniper of Gensokyo. Why?"

"Huh? Why is that you ask?" she said. She then rolls her eyes around absent-mindedly reminiscent to how Princess Yuyuko would do when she is thinking of an answer. Her answer came a few second afterward. "Well, I've been watching you, and I must say, it's been quite a pitiful sight. Between insomnia keeping you awake and the nightmares that plague what little sleep you do get…Well…I don't need to tell you what you already know"

I lowered my pistol at her words, acknowledging everything she said as truth. She looked at me again, this time her eyes were filled with pity and kindness. "You've never had a restful night in your life, have you?"

I nodded quietly at her answer. While it may be a tad inaccurate in her part, the last 20 years or so is not really an easy sailing. However, the real fucking pain came around 5 years ago, the first night ever since I've returned from Hell. It hurts, it physically hurts. I woke up with scars where the dream demons scratch me at every night. Once the gate closes the scars no longer appear, but it doesn't mean my torment has ended.

I smiled sardonically at her answer. "Well, that's the price I've paid to keep my loved one alive. This burden is my own to bear, but I'm happy if you're willing to lighten the load a little"

She smiled softly at me. "I thought so" she replied, her left arm scratching the ball of goo on her shoulder like it's a cat. She sighed again, her low voice almost soothing and kindly like a loving mother has for her wayward son "So sad, so truly sad, and so incredibly tragic indeed! But worry not human, your sleepless nights will soon come to an end, because I have decided to help you"

She then leans forward with a mischievous smile and tapped my nose playfully. "Consider it a favour from the great Ruler of Dreams herself" I recoiled from the touch, feeling strangely…soothed? What the fuck?

Suddenly, I am no longer in a void. Instead, I am standing in the garden of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, my own home. I remember the beautiful rows of scarlet roses that dotted the sidewalk, the poppies that bloom madly during spring. It was night, yet the light from the moon above me provided a cozy blue glow. I looked at my own body. Instead of only wearing my boxers, I am in a comfortable black business suit with my personal handgun stored inside my jacket. Doremy is sitting on a marble chair, sipping from a china cup. She looked at me with a smug expression and said "Feel free to praise me when you wake up, for now, just listen to my advice"

I nodded at her answer and took a chair beside her. She did at least clear out my nightmare and somehow controlled what remains of it to make it very pleasant indeed without asking much. The least I can do is to listen to her. Perhaps she can help me gain a way to rest without tearing my eyeballs out every night?

But why though? I know I am a big deal among the Youkais, but I'm still human, hell we don't even know what species I am! After all that demonic essence I've absorbed and used back then I would be more of a demon than a human.

Perhaps she has an ulterior motive, something only a demon can fulfil and she will ask for it in return of banishing my nightmares.

Oh well, if all else fail, I can just ask Patchouli to find a way to get to her and fulfil my promise to her.

"Let's see here…" she said as she turns the page on her book. I stare at her intensely, trying to remember every detail of her face and her body language. I don't see anything demonic about her, but they are good at subterfuge. I only watches her turn the page, hoping that she didn't break character. This is Gensokyo, anything can happen. I really need a good night rest and the demons aren't helping at all. "No…no…wrong page…Ah! Here we go! Ways to combat insomnia and promote healthy dreams"

I perked up when she said that, anticipating some kind of cure that could heal my mental wounds. Unfortunately, her list is not what I need. "You could start by drinking teas such as chamomile before bed. Relaxing the muscle in the body goes a long way to help sleep. Maybe you could get someone to massage you before bed" She then looks up from her book and observed me playfully. "Though I doubt you have anyone who would be willing"

I nodded at her answer. That is very true indeed. Sakuya and the other maids have much better things to do than massaging a dude suffering with PTSD…You know what? On second thought, they could spare a few maids to help me sleep better at night, like how Patchouli offers to sooth my nightmares during the war before. However, I know that it'll end up like Patchouli did. Are they gonna massage me every night for an eternity? What happens if I'm far away and alone, like when I'm on an expedition?

It seems that my thoughts leaks to my face when Doremy make remark about it. ""I'm just teasing, stop looking at me with that serious face"

"Your teasing hits the fucking nail in its ugly head" I muttered to myself.

"Anyways" she said, continuing her spiel "Meditation and yoga also help you get a good night sleep's sleep and are very healthy activities to do once a day" Another page turn "scents such as-"

"Tried all of that, didn't work. Get me the good stuff"

She was surprised by my answer. "Huh? What do you mean this isn't helping?" she asked with a frown "I'm giving you practical advice and you say you want something else?"

"I have been dealing with these fucking nightmares for the last 20 fucking years. Nothing works! There's only one way that is guaranteed to work, but it's pretty cumbersome for me to be useful at all times."

She sighed at my answer. "Typical" She said, as if I'm an ungrateful brat who just turn down her advice, when I'm the motherfucking Hell Walker. "Okay, what do you need then?" she asked, putting the book down and staring into my eyes unamused.

I inhaled deeply and answered back. "Cuddle me, hug me tightly and don't let go. The demonic essence inside me is why my nightmare exists. I require the presence of a sufficiently powerful Youkai to disrupt the disturbing demonic essence long enough for me to sleep peacefully"

Her eyes were wide open at my answer. "oh? Is that so?" she asked, surprised by my answer. Then her gaze become relaxed and her expression was of smugness. "Typical human, you want immediate gratification"

"Well, fucking Yogas didn't kill the demons don't they?" I retorted. "Now either you cuddle me or point me to the big bad demon of my nightmare so I can rip him to pieces and scatter him all over the floor"

She smiled at my bold answer. With a snap of her finger, her chair becomes a scarlet luxurious velvet sofa. She placed the book and her goo at her side and tapped her lap with her hand. "Fine, come, place your head on my lap. I'll give you what you want"

I sighed quietly to myself and complied. "About damn time" I muttered to myself as I make my way to her. The sofa reminds me of the one in the library, what with the gold embroidery at the frills of said sofa. I lay my body on the soft couch and finally place my head on her soft, comfy thighs.

"Fuck yeah, this is the shit bruh" I said as I adjusted my head on the comfy pillow. I can feel her potent magical aura entering inside my head and cooling the burning red lava inside me. The demonic essence felt like hot liquid coursing through my vein when they're agitated, and it always happens during nightmares or when I'm in combat. Her magical aura is cool and comfortable, calming the ever-raging essence inside me into deep slumber.

She looked down at me with a soft smile on her face. "Are you comfortable?"

Feeling my energy sapped away from her thighs, I only manages to give her a soft smile and a nod. "Wonderful" she replied, all the while patting my black hair.

Fuck yes; this is much better than sex.

"If this is to be your first good dream, then things should be perfect" She said to me softly, all the while I'm purring on her thigh like a fucking cat. "Thank you" I told her, my heart almost bursting with joy when she said that. If what she says are true, then I can finally move on from the past and grow into the future.

"It is a story you wanted correct?" she said, grabbing her book. I am still drunk from exhaustion and her magical essence so I didn't know or care what she was doing. As long as she is at my side I am happy. She can read fucking Macbeth for all I care and I would've just nodding on her lap. I didn't remember asking her for a bedtime story, but it felt appropriate so I nodded my head in reply. "Just please keep petting my head"

She sighed softly at my strange request "Such a simple request, but I guess sometimes simple is best. Now, a story was it? Lucky you, I have plenty" she then taps my head grabbing my attention. "Any request?" she asked.

I was still drunk, so I simply fired off what came on top of my head "Something warm and happy please, life's too fucked up and I'm not here to be reminded of that shit"

"uhuh…" she said, yet she didn't flip her book. She stared at me, expecting more. I stared back at her, annoyed with her answer. What the fuck am I supposed to answer? I'm just happy I can sleep!

Knowing that it'll drag on to morning if I didn't reply, I looked at her and answered tiredly "Gimme Roald Dahl's The BFG"

"Ah, not a bad choice" she said with a wide smile. "But I hate that story so I'll just pick one instead"

I groaned loudly at her. Who cares? I just wanna sleep on her thicc thighs! "Oh come now, stop frowning!" she said to me. "I'm joking about hating that story"

"no shit, Roald Dahl's stories are gold, fucking gold I tell ya" I said, my voice slurring like a motherfucking drunk "Ye-yeah, I grew up with that shit right there ma'am. Matilda, Chocolate factory, BFG, holy shit…BFG? I fucking named my Berserkers as the BFG?!"

She then closes my lips with her dainty finger, stopping my tirade from getting louder. "I'm picking my own though, I was honest about that"

She then flips another page on her book. "I think you'll like it, I bet you will"

I groaned again but elected to keep the peace. It's been a while since I've cuddled up with someone. I miss the sensation of a person holding me tightly, their warm comforting essence that tells me that I'm not alone in this world and loved by at least someone, even if the only one who loved me is the one I'm sharing bed with.

She clears he throat and starts her story that I rather not hear. Yet she has done so much for a stranger, even offering her thighs for a man who for all she know could be a raging pervert or a bloodthirsty monster. That takes guts and overwhelming kindness to do so much for a stranger and expecting little in return. It is courtesy that I at least have to entertain her notion.

"It all began with a fairy, spritely and full of youth, the fairy lived her days peacefully, lazily, content. Sleeping in, playing in the sun, getting into trouble if only from time to time. These were the rhythms of life the fairy marched to, and she was happy"

I let a soft smile crept into my face when she described the activities the fairy partake. So carefree, so happy is the life of a child, for they have not the worry of an adult or the fear of a parent. I miss the day where I am genuinely happy, where I can frolic in the sun like a fairy without fear of being eaten alive.

How long was it? 30? 40? How long have been in this state, a state of madness and worry, of fear and paranoia? Where my childhood ends and adulthood did started, when innocence fades and cold despair takes place?

"And yet, the rhythm she knew and loved so much soon found itself to be interrupted and suddenly her life began marching to the beat of a different tune, a forceful beat…Boom…boom…boom…A sound that brought with it change, a sound that shook the earth below and caused the birds above to flee, skittish fear-stricken"

Yes, when did I become a monster? When did I stop being a bashful child and become a cold demon in its wake? When did the slow, carefree beat of life turns into jagged, hard rock tempo? Can I even pinpoint the reason why I ended up like these? Is it like a force of nature; a slow, booming beat of progress that overwhelms anything on its path? Even if the footstep is loud like what the fairy hear that day, can I even change anything about it? Will I fly away like the birds, scared of what was coming yet still able to outrun the beast?

"What's the matter? You're squirming" Doremy said with a hint of worry. She stuck out her tongue at me playfully, tapping my cheek to ease my increasingly worried visage. "Do you not like this part, scaredy-cat?"

"No" I replied. "No?" she asked, echoing my answer to her.

"I'm fine, just thinking about stuff. Go on, finish the job" I told her with a tired smile. "And please, do not cease petting my head. It is the balm that heals mental wounds"

"Oh, so it's the petting" she said, looking at my head. "Ah, forgive me, it's a habit. My free hands tend to do what it wants when I read" She then stares at my deep brown eyes, noting the bags under my deep brown eyes. "Do you enjoy it?" she asked, her free hand has stopped petting my head and is hovering above my forehead like a helicopter

"I'm a headpat slut woman, now gimme your hands"

"Oh" she said, surprised by my answer. I then raise my head upward so that her palm made contact with my head again. "You'll get used to it" I told her.

She then smiled at me as I adjusted my head back to its former position of her thigh, this time with her hand as my prize. "Then I guess I'll keep going since you'll 'get used to it'" She then leans downward toward me with a conspiratorial smile and said "If it helps, I can make my petting more deliberate"

I don't know whether she's playing with me or not, but I graced her with my answer. "I'm a headpat slut baby, just ram all your headpats to me and I'll take it all in."

She ignored the sexual connotation I gave her and continued her story "…And the fairy was left speechless in the wake of it all. With wide eyes, she witnessed the shadow of a beast. An unimaginable monster"

"That's what she said last night"

She stopped for a second, takes a deep breath and continued her story. "With a crown of clouds, it took stride after stride, boom after boom. And as the fairy watched, she felt her own rhythm, which knew nothing but easy days and trouble-making, change to match the rhythm of the monster. As it moved, she moved, as it roared so did she"

"This is getting sexual for some reason"

She ignored my comments altogether "The fairy, gave chase"

Without much warning, she simply closed the book and flashes me a warm smile. I was actually surprised. That's it? It was getting to the good part! "Is that it?"

"Awwww, you looked so disappointed, what's wrong?" she asked.

"I don't think a metaphorical story of a person's growth throughout life is a conventional bedtime story" I told her, but then I gave her my famous shit-eating grin and said "But I'm Alex Armin, and I dig that shit."

"Do you want more?"

"Of course, this is good stuff. I need more sauce for my pasta!" I told her. She then put her hand on her chin in a thinking pose. "Hmm, nope! Don't think I'll read more" she said with a cheeky smile. "Oh come now, don't make such a face, I'll want to tease you more and more if you do"

"You're lucky you're cute as fuck. I don't like being teased at"

She chuckled softly at my answer and replied "If you want the rest, then meet me again tomorrow night. Do as I told you, and come back to me"

"Will I find you on my bed? Because I get really fucking lonely here. Weird isn't it? In a mansion full of cute girls but ended up sleeping all alone"

She rolled her eyes at my statement and cupped my cheeks. "I promise I'll read more to you then, so make sure you do what you can to meet me again."

At first I didn't understand, and then it clicks right then and there. When she listed the advice she gave me, it wasn't the way to get a good night sleep, anybody who studied magic knows that simple herbal remedy cannot purge magical sleep. Anybody who studied magic also knows that certain creatures can be summoned to do their biddings with certain items and ritual.

I finally understood the list she gave me. It wasn't a list of how to combat insomnia; it's a list of steps I need to take to summon her!

"Between endless nightmare and a beautiful maiden telling me stories, I'll take the stories in a heartbeat"

She smiled again lowered herself down. She kissed my forehead and whispered into my ears. "I have a 1001 stories I want to go through with you. But for now, I'll leave you" Another kiss, this time on my left eye. "Consider your nightmares eaten"

Soon after that sentence she spoke, I felt the darkness claims me once more. This time, I welcome them with a wide open arms and a smile.


End file.
